Daily Archives: September 16, 2016

THE DARKNESS OF MY PAST…

impacts EVERY aspect of today, tomorrow, “ALWAYS & FOREVER”.  Hhhmmm…think, Think, THINK…

“ALWAYS & FOREVER”…???…???…???…is the phrase I scribbled onto a $50.00 dollar bill back in, Hhhmmm…, I think it was 1985.  Yep, it was given as a b-day gift, so it MUST have been in late October-early November, 1985.  A b-day gift that I could NOT keep.  For MANY reasons.  I, vividly, remember scribbling that phrase, “ALWAYS & FOREVER,” onto the $50 bill and placing it back into the hand of my forbidden lover.

He was married.  And I was married.  But…???…???…???…NOT to each other.  And   “HE”…???…???…???…was the father of “3”.  OUCH.  2 different vows…???…???…???…BROKEN.  2 separate marriages… DESTROYED.   7 lives, at least…???…???…???…SHATTERED.  Oh yeah, “I”…???…???…???…was a MESS back then.  I just didn’t know it yet.  And…???…???…???…I was sure “dying” to learn.  LITERALLY.  I just didn’t know it, yet…

I am certain my “LIFE COURSE” had been mapped out “FOR” me…way before conception.  God KNEW my family’s struggles.  HE KNEW EVERYTHING.  And He was there.  ALWAYS.  I just didn’t know Him yet.

My sister, Lynn, and I shared a bedroom when we were younger.  Our twin-sized beds were positioned parallel to each other in one particular  room we shared on George St. in Fayette, OH.  Boy,  I remember talking to a God that I knew very little about in the darkness of our room as I looked out the bedroom window into a sky full of twinkling stars.  Ouch.  Seems like just yesterday…nearly 50 years ago.    Hhhmmm…I wonder if Lynn spent as many hours lying there awake as I did…thinking, And Thinking, AND THINKING.  Questioning “LIFE” and seeking forgiveness for “things” from a God I didn’t even know at all.  Yep, He was ALWAYS there, alright.  I just didn’t know it, yet…

In looking back,   “LIFE” REALLY seemed to fall apart during my Junior year of H.S.  THERE WAS NO STOPPING OR REDIRECTING MY PATHWAY TO SELF- DESTRUCTION.  Oh yeah, “IT”( my self- destruction)…???…???…???…was a-comin’.  BOOM.  BOOM.  BANG!!!  And “IT”…???…???…???…allowed the conception required for my re-birth.  WOO-WHOOOOOO!!!  “I”…???….???…am a BORN-AGAIN CHRISTIAN, folks!!!  DOUBLE WOO-WHOOOOOO, WOO-WHOOOOOO!!!  PRAISE JESUS!!! 

I must admit my heart aches.  Right Here.  RIGHT NOW.  I do, however, feel the movement of my lips forming just a slight, slight smile, or grin, as I ponder the enormity of God’s grace.  Hhhmmm…”THANK-YOU, JESUS”. 

Recent events at work have prompted this partial revelation of the darkness from my past as an offering of “HOPE”(Heaven Over-Powering Earth) in the realization that Jesus Christ paid the price for ALL of our sins.  THE PAYMENT WAS ACCEPTED!!!  AND GOD  W-I-L-L  FORGIVE…the moment you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.  BUCKLE-UP, folks!!!  And ENJOY THE RIDE…along your “JOURNEY” from “HERE” to “THERE”.  (Pppsssttt…I sure do “HOPE” to see you there…ONE FINE DAY!!!)  😉

GO TEAM!!!  WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER!!!

P.H.P., folks.  People Helping People.

Give the BEST of yourself for “JUST” today…“EVERY” day!!!

ALL GLORY BE TO GOD!!!  AMEN.