THE DARKNESS OF MY SLEEP

WHAT???!!!???!!!???!!!  “THE DARKNESS OF MY SLEEP???”  Hhhmmm… now “THAT” sounds spooky, doesn’t it???  IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE SPOOKY!!!  Come along, folks.  I am taking you into “Jill’s World”…”WITH” me, as the nightly battles return in…“The Darkness Of My Sleep”…

Hhhmmm…”SLEEPING” was ALWAYS “DIFFICULT” for me.  Bed-time or nap-time allowed the inner turmoil to be stirred up in the darkness of my sleep.  I remember ALWAYS waking up “ANGRY” about…???…???…???… “SOMETHING” I could never quite put my finger on “IT”(the inner anger).  But “IT”…was ALWAYS there.  OUCH!!! Those memories sting… along their journey from my mind straight to my heart.

I was ALWAYS ANGRY and MEAN whenever waking from a sleep state, naturally.  The anger I experienced was EVEN worse when and if someone tried to wake me…before I was ready!!!  Hhhmmm…those are difficult memories, folks.  I am ashamed.  My parents and siblings sure witnessed many battles I fought with those “sleep demons” throughout my childhood and teen years.  Hhhmmm…think, Think, THINK…

My husband Chris, bless his soul, has experienced MANY battles I fought with those nasty “sleep demons”.  There were times I’d awake READY for battle…with CHRIS(my husband)…over something I fabricated in my own mind.  Yep, we sure fought some pretty stupid and unnecessary battles…back in the early days!!!  OR…I would often jump up out of bed anxious, nervous, afraid or scared of “SOMETHING”…???…???…???… ridiculous!!!  It ALWAYS took a few minutes for Chris to calm me after fighting those “sleep demons”.

Hhhmmm…???…???…???… I can remember not sleeping much AT ALL from my mid 20’s to early 40’s.  I guess sleeping has ALWAYS been a problem for me.  The anger(demons) would engulf me in my sleep.  I presume this contributed to my stress and anxiety that resulted in numerous sleepless nights “stewing” over trivial matters that, somehow, seemed monumental at the time.

I notice it has become a routine for me to praise the Lord… over, And Over AND OVER again, And Again AND AGAIN…EACH and EVERY TIME I wake up from a sleep these days.  I do this to regain my level of happiness  that seems to have dulled a bit during my sleep.  And I then maintain a healthy, on-going consciousness of God’s presence in my waking hours in order to STAY HAPPY…

WHO… hit the play/sing button???  😉  God…hit the play/sing button!!!  🙂
“I-I-I’mmm so happy.  You’re so happy.  We’re so happy.  So happy.  So happy.  WHY?  Jesus loves me.  Jesus loves you.  Jesus loves us.  He loves us.  SO MUCH!!!”  WOO-WHOOOOOO!!!

Hhhmmm…think, Think, THINK… those sleep demons are returning, AGAIN, to cause havoc.  “THIS” realization scared me earlier.  However, I feel confident in my abilities to continue waging a conscious battle against those  demons that seek to cause inner turmoil during my “down-” time, or sleep-time.

“LIFE IS DIFFICULT,” folks.  EVERY MOMENT of EVERY DAY requires that we be armed and ready for battle.  The enemy NEVER sleeps.  Onward Christian Soldiers…

GO TEAM!!!  WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER!!!

P.H.P., folks.  People Helping People.

Give the BEST of yourself for “JUST” today…“EVERY” day!!!

ALL GLORY BE TO GOD!!!  AMEN.