LETTING GO…

and giving “IT” to God.  AMEN.

Hhhmmm…I am not certain I feel “READY” to write this post, but “SOMETHING” is pushing me toward…???…???…??? or pulling me forward…???…???…??? to write this post and…  I WILL MOVE.  I WILL FOLLOW.

Hhhmmm…where to begin???  Where to end???  I am not certain, folks.  Come along…

I am certain I have disclosed the fact that anti-depressant medication has “HELPED” me along my “JOURNEY”.  “IT IS…WHAT IT IS!!!”  As a Christian, I believe God has called individuals to become medical doctors  in order to “HELP” others cope with “LIFE,” via medications, as needed.  I KNOW, however, that God can HEAL.  He uses VARIOUS methods of healing.  “HEALING” to you…may NOT be “HEALING” to Him.  Hhhmmm…think, Think, THINK…

What, EXACTLY, is “IT” that needs to be healed???  Is “IT” physical?  Emotional?  Spiritual???  “IT”…may potentially show itself as a physical symptom(an illness, injury, disease, etc).  An emotional symptom(sadness, anger, ambivalence, etc.)  WHICH MAY OR MAY NOT…be due to an inner turmoil or Spiritual conflict.  Hhhmmm…think, Think, THINK…

“LIFE…IS DIFFICULT!!!”

I have tried in the past few years to wean myself OFF of the anti-depressants…without success.  OUCH!!!  My behavioral and mood changes…???…???…??? were OBVIOUS!!!  QUICKLY.  Hhhmmm…so during a recent check-up I ,whimsically, spoke “WITH” my psychiatrist about this possibility.  He asked questions.  I answered.  “WE”…discussed reducing the dosage and devised a plan…TOGETHER.  I left his office feeling…???…???…???…  “HAPPY”!!!  And confident!!!  BAM!!!

I have been filled with an unexplainable inner “HAPPINESS”…EVER SINCE!!!  GOD IS WITH ME ON THISI JUST KNOW IT!!!  I “JUST KNOW IT” to a point of NO LONGER TAKING…OR NEEDING that anti-depressant medication!!!  Yep…I QUIT taking it!!!  That’s right…I  Q-U-I-T  taking it…“COLD TURKEY”!!!  WOO-WHOOOOOO!!!  I’VE GOT THE SPIRIT IN ME!!!  DOUBLE WOO-WHOOOOOO, WOO-WHOOOOOO!!!  AMEN.

So, how long has it been?  Not REAL long.  ONLY 1 WEEK!!!  :/  But…I BELIEVE.  I HAVE FAITH!!!  The inner happiness I feel…is indescribable.  I, originally, thought I did not want to reveal this “TOO EARLY”…just in case I need the medication again.  I was SUDDENLY struck with an idea…RIGHT UPSIDE MY HEAD!!!  OUCH!!!    I thought to myself, “SELF…NOT reporting IT would be an indication of my uncertainty…my DIS-belief…my lack of FAITH!!!”  Hhhmmm…think, Think, THINK…

Well, I DO BELIEVE, folks!!!  And I am so excited to proclaim:

“NO MORE ANTI-DEPRESSANT MEDICATION FOR ME!!!”  WOO-WHOOOOOO!!!  Oh yeah…”I’VE GOT THE SPIRIT IN ME.  I’VE GOT THE SPIRIT IN ME.  I’VE GOT THE SPIRIT IN ME!!!”  DOUBLE WOO-WHOOOOOO, WOO-WHOOOOOO!!!

“THIS TIME”…is different.  I feel “IT”, but I cannot describe “IT”.  The inner happiness I currently enjoy is, somehow, “DIFFERENT”.  Others can see “IT,” but I CANNOT explain “IT”.  I do know, however, that God has NEVER “HEALED” anything for me…IMMEDIATELY!  For example, my right arm has been healing/improving in intervals, short periods of time, over 28+ years;  My “inner anger” is more manageable these days, but  Satan can still tap into “IT”(my inner anger), allowing occasional outbursts of “IT”…that come out of nowhere; AND…  I tried to quit smoking NUMEROUS times…before I actually quit in 1995.  ALL GLORY BE TO GOD!!!  AMEN.  These…???…???…???…“MIRACLES” have occurred slowly, over time.  NOTHING…seems to happen quickly…FOR “ME”.  (Hhhmmm…”PATIENCE”…is a lesson I need to learn!!!  NO WONDER… I’M SO SLOW!!!  TURTLE SLOW. TURTLE STEADY.  “SLOW” and “STEADY” WINS the race, right???  RIGHT!!!)  😉  PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE, folks!!!  I’M LEARNING…AS I GO!!!  WOO-WHOOOOOO!!!

ALL GLORY BE TO GOD!!!  AMEN.

Aaahhhhhh… who hit the play/sing button!!!???!!!???!!!???

I-I-I’mmm…so happy.  You’re so happy.  We’re so happy.  So happy.  So happy.  WHY???  Jesus loves me.  Jesus loves you.  Jesus loves us.  He loves us.  So much!!!”  WOO-WHOOOOOO!!!

SORRY.  I could NOT… “HELP” myself!!!  😉

GO TEAM JILL!!!  Hand over the rein!!! Relax and enjoy the ride!!!  God’s got this!!!

ALL GLORY BE TO GOD!!!  AMEN.