Daily Archives: March 2, 2015

SEEKING A RAINBOW…

that indicates the storm is over.  That brighter days lie ahead…

Tears form in both eyes as I recount the numerous times, lately, that I have looked up into the sky on difficult days… grasping for those white fluffy clouds to comfort me… yet, explaining away their absence with:  “Oh, thank you, Lord for sending water in the form of rain to nourish plants, trees, insects, animals, etc”.  OR “Thank you, Heavenly Father for this clear-blue perfect sky”… of NOTHINGNESS ( I feel “LOST” when I look up into a clear blue sky where there are no fluffy clouds to grasp onto… Hhhmmm… “CRAZY,” huh???).

“LIFE” has sure been “DIFFICULT,” lately…

I will wait, however, for MY rainbow to appear… indicating that brighter days have, indeed, ARRIVED!!!

Giving the BEST of MYSELF for “JUST” today… “EVERY” day!!!

ALL GLORY BE TO GOD!!!  AMEN.

 

TOO TIRED TO FIGHT

I, simply, CANNOT believe this folks!!!  So, so much keeps happening these days.  After weeks of being exposed to the flu virus at work resulting in missed meetings/events in an effort to avoid transference of germs from myself to others… I was so, So, SO proud to have evaded that nasty little bug at work!!!

HA!!!  I, then, pick something up out in the community!!!  DOUBLE HA, HA!!!  And guess what???  I not only miss a day of work TODAY, but I have also taken precautions and cancelled, YET ANOTHER, meeting with Pastor Walter West, scheduled for tomorrow!!!  WHAT???…???…???…  ANOTHER CANCELLED MEETING WITH PASTOR WALTER???!!!???!!!???!!!  Yep, “ANOTHER” cancelled meeting with Pastor Walter!!!  I CANNOT MAKE THIS STUFF UP!!!

I AM SEEKING A RAINBOW, folks…

ALL GLORY BE TO GOD!!!  AMEN.

 

MY BROTHER, BOB. 4/16/56-2/18/2015

WOW!!!  Now, this is tough, folks… I do NOT know exactly where this post will start… OR… end.  I am, however, feeling a “NEED” to share the “Brother, Bob” I  knew and loved, yet didn’t know how to “HELP”.

I remember not REALLY knowing my brother, Bob when I was younger.  He was 8 years/6 months older than I.  Bits and pieces  are retrievable in my memory bank, however much is LOST… subconsciously… AND PURPOSEFULLY.  Thank you, Jesus.

My brother struggled his ENTIRE life… simply SEEKING to survive it… utilizing methods that were so VERY harmful to dull the pain.  Drugs.  And alcohol.  This pattern began early in Bob’s life… I’m guessing as a “young” teen.

I have NO idea what that poor boy went through in losing his older brother, Michael, to leukemia.  Bob was the only one of us siblings to have survived “THAT” experience.  If my math serves me correctly, Michael must have passed in 1958.  And then came us girls… Laura in ’59. Lynn in ’63.  And then me, in ’64.

Bob was a cute, athletic boy.  He had talent in sports.  Baseball was his first love.  He even played on a semi-professional team in FL during the ’70’s.  Yep, I was a proud little sis’.  Then he married a gorgeous girl in FL, Crystal.  They had a son, Ryan.  I cannot lie, folks.  LIFE WAS SURE DIFFICULT… for that young family.  Bob, had “issues”… I am certain of that.  Crystal had her “issues”.  WE ALL HAVE ISSUES!!!

I do not know the details, but their marriage fell apart at some point.  And Crystal felt compelled to “flee” with my nephew, Ryan… when he was about…???…???…??? I wanna say “2”… Hhhmmm… can that be correct???  Crystal fled Ohio with Ryan when he was about 2… the approximate age at which Bob was when his life-long “inner turmoil” began… think.  Think.  THINK… (2 yrs. of age seems to be a common link here)

I have NO judgement regarding ANY of the decisions made regarding the  “DIFFICULT” life that Bob and Crystal shared.  I do know, however… that “SOMETHING” explains it all.  PERFECTLY!!!

End of story???  No.  A “chance” reunion with Ryan occurred years later (Ryan was about 24-26 yrs. of age then) somewhere back in time, I believe in 2005.  My beloved father had already passed earlier that same year.  I flew to Ohio from FL for this special reunion.  “IT”… was AMAZING”!!!  Lots of food.  Lots of fun, including board games and 70’s music with singing/dancing in my parents’ kitchen.  Many relatives visited while he was there.  Ryan, I am sure, was a bit overwhelmed with SUCH A BIG FAMILY… HIS FAMILY!!!

That reunion was bittersweet, folks.  Perhaps we had all worn fake hats that weekend… trying to portray ourselves as something/someone we were not.  Reality soon set back in, however, and we each continued on our own paths leading us in separate directions…???…???…???  Somewhere???  Perhaps, NOWHERE???  Hhhmmm… think.  Think.  THINK.

I, originally, left Ohio in 1992… looking for “ME”.  I found “ME” in 2007.  ALL GLORY BE TO GOD!!!  AMEN.  Oh, how I wish I had been able to “HELP” my brother, Bob, rid himself of those nasty demons he’d been fighting his entire life… since the age of 2!!!  I do find comfort and peace, however, in knowing that EVERYTHING has occurred according to God’s plan.

ALL GLORY BE TO GOD!!!  AMEN.