WOW!!! It has been a difficult week, folks. I am not real sure “WHY,” either. I do know that I have been “TEARFUL”. So“WHAT,” exactly, does that mean? I am searching inside my “self”…somewhere… for that answer, but finding nothing.
“EMOTIONS”… are new to me. Feelings? What are they? I don’t believe I even really knew what it meant to “feel” anything. I lived so, so much of my life”faking” how one would be expected to act in certain situations while not really…”feeling”…those feelings. I have, however, identified the word that describes the emotional state I lived in for nearly 43 years of my life. So, what’s the word??? “NOTHINGNESS.” That word…”nothingness”…is like a black hole to me. NOTHING. No color. No brightness. No glimmer of hope. No- “anything”(did I just make up another word? No-anything = No-thing = Nothing???) 🙂
“THIS”… is hard to explain, folks. I knew that I ALWAYS cared about things… DEEPLY, however, I felt nothing. Most, if not all, of the emotions I felt were displayed as “ANGER”. I was a fighter, folks. I always came out swinging. I had to be strong. Weakness, surely, would have been my demise. Beth Moore stated in her Bible Study, Breaking Free, “A child who has been forced into things she didn’t want to do usually grows up never wanting to be told what to do again-by anyone”. Boy, “THAT” describes me PERFECTLY!!! Hhhmmm. I think we used to joke, at family gatherings, about how I never did what I was told. Perhaps I laughed along, but I never thought it was very funny. Go figure.
Folks, I just want to stress that not EVERYTHING in life is gonna make sense to “YOU”. And that’s okay. There is, however, a reason… FOR EVERYTHING. Those things considered negative…have something negative behind them. Somewhere. Words, thoughts, actions, etc. So tell me, do you think it’s possible for bad to come from good? And what parameters should be used to make the distinction between “Good” and “Bad”? Hhhmmm. “THIS”… could be an interesting conversation. I think. A conversation that I do not feel up to at the moment. Perhaps I will touch upon this again… LATER.
I’m just feeling a bit… “tearful”… AGAIN. “THINGS”… appear jumbled right now. God has, however, put some very special people directly in my path to guide me to the power of “PRAYER”… over what seemed like the simplest of matters. MY “uneasiness”. My “uncertainty” about… “LIFE”. WOW!!! EVERYTHING… somehow…comes back to “LIFE, doesn’t it”??? Without “LIFE,” you’ve got “nothingness,” right? 😉
Look for the “GOOD” in everything. It is there. Can you find it?
Please give the BEST of yourself for “JUST” today…”EVERY” day.
GO TEAM!!! WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER!!!
ALL GLORY BE TO GOD!!! AMEN.