WOW!!! THIS was so, so “ME”!!! Yep, I have struggled my ENTIRE life…until 2007. In younger years I’d have to call myself: “STUDENT JILL/MISS GOBLE”. I do hope you “get” what I mean. I am, seriously, comparing myself to DR. JECKYLL/MR. HYDE.
No kidding, folks. I am not laughing. I wonder how many others are out there, struggling to survive daily life, JUST LIKE I DID: wanting to be a friendly, loving and caring individual, but reacting to ridiculous situations with an uncontrollable rage.
My immediate personality change was ALWAYS triggered by insecurities and an inability to “TRUST”. These “issues,” however, were buried so deep inside that I never knew “why” I reacted as I did to certain things. Boy, I sure hated that about myself, but I could NEVER admit it. Yep, I became pretty good at “shifting” blame. And NOTHING was ever MY fault, of course!
Does this sound familiar to anyone out there? About yourself, or someone you may know? There is SOMETHING, SOMEWHERE… that explains this behavior. SOMETHING. SOMEWHERE.
Do not be afraid. I always “KNEW” something was wrong. Somewhere. And I always felt certain that I could “FIX IT” … IF…I could just “FIND IT”!!! I spent 20+ years “looking,” folks. God revealed the truth to me, at age 42, when the time was right… according to HIS plan, NOT MINE.
I had been so very angry about all those years I had “LOST”. I now realize that life could have been so much easier and more enjoyable had I simply been in a relationship with God. He may not have revealed the “truth” any earlier, but I would have been more “stable” had I just been able to “TRUST” God sooner and to realize how very, very much He loved me… REGARDLESS.
LIFE, as we know it…is so, very, very short. Please choose to live it to the fullest, enjoying a meaningful relationship with God while here on Earth, but knowing “THE BEST IS YET TO COME” if you so choose to accept His free gift of “Eternal Life”.
I will turn 50 on my birth date this year, folks. I feel like such a new-born Christian at this point in my life. And I simply love what is happening within me. Please seek God and get “plugged-in” to a local Christian network. You’ve got nothing to lose, right? But EVERYTHING…TO GAIN!!!