Daily Archives: November 5, 2013

RESOLVING CONFLICT

Everyone is unique.  We all have different thoughts and opinions regarding EVERYTHING.  During conflict we, generally, tend to think…”I’m right.  You’re wrong!”  People get defensive.  Misread information.  Real emotions are involved on both sides.  Both individuals are upset or angry.   STOP right here…

Now, consider how you would react in most situations, regardless of the topic.  Do you know how you generally tend to respond to conflict?  How you either DO or DON’T deal with it?  Most individuals will respond similarly to most types of, everyday, conflict.  Let’s examine a few of the possibilities together…

1)  You close down as soon as a disagreement begins.  Become quiet.  Perhaps you even tell a “miss-truth” to avoid conflict.

2)  You  adamantly deny, deny, deny (lie, lie, lie) in a strong stance,  unwilling to admit to any wrong-doing.  You stand up to this conflict, but diffuse it by lying, thereby not facing it at all.

3)  You won’t “let it go,” feeling a deep need for vindication.  You will, however, admit if you were wrong and/or seek to resolve conflict, despite the outcome.

Now, each of us tends to respond to disagreements in a similar manner each time one occurs.  Doesn’t matter with whom, although our level of emotions and degree of honesty will vary depending on the importance of that relationship to us.  Aren’t we all different?  Boy, I can think of individuals who fit into each category, immediately.  There may be some variations, however, people either refuse to face it; they face it, but avoid it by lying; or they face it “head-on,” yielding to the truth.  To put it gingerly,  I suppose one’s manner of handling conflict is also affected by their Faith, or lack of…

Examine your approach or response to conflict.  This, generally, is developed early in life.  Remember…we are who we are based on where we’ve been and how we have responded simply seeking to survive.  Now, can we change this about ourselves?  I think so, but it won’t be easy.  One would have to think consciously before responding, learning to control that fight of flight response inborn to all of us.  And always remember that no two individuals are equipped with the same knowledge or understanding of any situation.  Sound familiar?  Yep, that’s right.  Conflicts between teammates are generally, in part, due to misunderstandings.  No matter what your response to conflict is, don’t allow this to have a lasting impact on your ability to work together towards accomplishment of team goals.

GO TEAM!!!  WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER!!!