Monthly Archives: October 2013


So, how many different teams are you a member of?  Do you even want to be a member of all those teams?  Do you fully understand your role(s)?  Are you committed?  Today’s world is so fast paced and competitive that you need to be SURE of what teams you’re a member of and what role(s) you’re expected to fill.  Seek to offer the best of yourself , daily, to contribute positively to the success of that or those team(s).

Now,  our performance level may vary from time to time.   We all have bad days.  Ups and downs.  Twists and turns.  Speed bumps and blockades along the road of our journeys.  This is okay.  This is referred to as part of the difficult, or “down” side to life.  Just don’t let a bad day get you down and keep you down.  Pick yourself up and keep moving forward.  Tomorrow is a new day.  Remember, you are part of a team.  Just do your best at any given moment and remember…you can rely on other team members as appropriate.  Discuss issues openly and honestly.  Allow others that opportunity to “help,” either by just listening or by taking over some of your responsibilities.   You might be surprised.  People like to feel “needed” or “helpful.”  Those who don’t?  Well, they have “issues.”  Unresolved issues.  🙂

Now, the ideal teams to be a part of are those consisting of a good leader, one who has the knowledge and skill for building a successful team.  And committed team players as the  supporting cast.  This team will work together well, eagerly following their leader while doing their best.  Success, folks.  That’s what we all want, right? Individual team members should focus on ways of improving their individual performance as a means of improving team success.

And, what about those team members who don’t take their role(s) seriously?  You know them…the “slackers,” right?  Be a good example.  Be helpful.  Be a friend.  Try not to allow resentment (anger) to affect your performance negatively.  Don’t we all experience discontent on the job, perhaps anger, when other members don’t seem to be “pulling their weight?”  Of course we do!  We NEVER really know what is going on in the lives or minds of our teammates.  Perhaps they have family-related, financial, or personal problems completely unrelated to the job.  Remember…EVERYBODY has their “plate of crap” that goes with them EVERYWHERE, affecting EVERYTHING!!!  Perhaps team mates  don’t feel secure or competent in their abilities regarding certain tasks.  OR…PERHAPS THEY ARE JUST LAZY AFTER ALL!!!  Who knows?  But, be supportive and encourage their growth by helping as necessary.  Try to keep things positive and moving forward.  A negative response will yield a negative result.





“Life is not fair.”  We’ve all heard that before, right?  Well, what exactly does that mean?  And how do people REALLY feel when it comes to the “fairness” of situations?  Let’s examine this a bit closer…

Children, ages 0 to 13-ish, often report things NOT being fair when it comes to competitive situations; anything requiring extra effort (work) on their part; or the division of portions, esp. candy, between 2 or more individuals.  Teenagers seem to get real hung up on the fairness of things, including curfews and their permissible attendance to certain events.  Parents often respond to their children’s complaints by saying:  “Well, life is not fair for anybody.  Period!”  This is generally a statement made in an attempt to make them realize that it really doesn’t matter if they think it’s fair or not , right?  “IT IS WHAT IT IS!!!”  And that’s another famous quote I use frequently!

So what about adults’ sense of “fairness?”  This gets pretty deep, folks.  Spouses may feel a sense of “un-fairness” regarding who makes more money, who does more for the kids, or who does more work around the house, etc.  Fairness may come into play on the job, as well, in terms of work load or responsibilities, perhaps salary comparisons- although this should not be a topic of conversation between co-workers. Employment specifics are disclosed and discussed before employment begins.  The agreement should have never been reached if the terms were not acceptable.  Bottom line.

And what about this last group of adults to be discussed:   American citizens, AKA “TEAM USA.”  So tell me, folks…WHAT IS FAIR?  Our country is divided, hugely.  What happened to “one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all?”  There is definitely injustice for ALL  of us!!!  We are so messed up as a nation that NOTHING IS FAIR FOR ANYBODY!!!

And what does our perception of fairness say about each of us?  Again, I am referring to adults ONLY.  Let’s take a look at the two major categories of which most Americans fit into:

1) Life = “Fair”:  These individuals are well-adjusted and reality-based.  They seldom get involved in conflict regarding the fairness of situations.

2)  Life = “Unfair”:  These individuals tend to be pessimistic.  They seem to be angry much of the time.  Always complaining.  Conflict surrounds them.

Now, people may fall anywhere in between those two groups as well, but I have only selected these two for the purpose of discussion.  Group #1:  Religious, happy, content, and motivated.  They attend church regularly.  These individuals begin and end each day with a sense of enthusiasm/accomplishment.  Group #2:  Non-religious, unhappy, discontent and un-motivated.  Never go to church.  Have difficulty making it to work on time and they miss work frequently.

Group  # 1 will be successful, giving, and caring.  Group #2 will struggle through each day, demand more assistance in life with their own life, and will not help others in need.  Why is this?  What causes this selfish behavior of expecting help, but not wanting to give help?  Here it is, folks…my famous line at work:  “They have issues!”  Unresolved issues.  And would probably benefit from being in my support group, “Tissues For Issues.”  🙂

Serious, folks.  This is life.  Everybody has a lot to deal with daily.  Look at your coping techniques for handling different situations.  I believe that extreme negativity indicates inner turmoil.  An inner turmoil that you may or may not be aware of.  Do not be afraid to seek help.  Medical, psychological, or any other treatment recommended that might be beneficial.  And as a Christian in progress, I highly recommend  that you turn to God for guidance.  Amen.



Where to begin?  Wow…in being truthful, I must admit that I was extremely selfish growing up.  Only cared about myself.  Didn’t appreciate ANYTHING, but expected EVERYTHING!!!  Sound familiar?   Hhhmmm…when did I start caring enough about others to consider myself patriotic?  Yep, it was AFTER my car accident.   When my life’s journey all began…

The Gulf War.  Wow, this had such a huge impact on my life.  I had a friend serving in the military at that time who had been deployed to the Middle East.  I was in college then, studying to be an Occupational Therapy Assistant.   I became obsessed.  Watching the news, writing letters and sending care packages to my friend, Tim.  All in conjunction with attending classes, studying, and maintaining my GPA.  To mix things up a bit, I sent him a photo of  my entire class posing  with our “thumbs up” in support of all our troops risking their lives for our country.  I had never felt such love for this great country and respect for the men and women fighting to defended it.  And I will NEVER forget how deeply that affected me.  Thankfully, that mission’s objectives were accomplished rather quickly.  My FIRST sense of  “Patriotism.”

My next, BIG sense of PATRIATISM came on……….9/11.  I don’t even need to type any more.  EVERYONE KNOWS  WHAT THIS REFERS TO.  “9/11” will ALWAYS be tied to that memory of the twin towers being struck by airplane missiles in New York City.  Only to be followed by reports of another attack on the Pentagon in Washington.  And the heroic downing of a fourth plane into a field, somewhere in Pennsylvania, as the “selfless” individuals of that flight #93 sacrificed their own lives to protect others.  Tears well-up in both eyes as I re-call the events of that day.  Our lives, our country, our world would NEVER be the same.

I love America, folks.  As established by the United States Constitution.  The America that we used to pledge allegiance to with PRIDE.  Do we even still remember how it goes?  Well, here’s a refresher:

“I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

There have been changes over the years.  It has always, however, represented loyalty to our great flag.  I LOVE THE AMERICAN FLAG, folks.  My heart swells with pride every time I see one.  The colors…red, white, and blue.  The stars.  The stripes.  Oh, I can picture it now, blowing freely in the wind.  And all I can say is:  “GOD BLESS AMERICA!”








We have started a weekly tradition at the nursing home where I work in an attempt to unite ALL of us:  Democrats, Republican’s, The TEA Party-“ers”, The Taking Back America-“ers”, Independents, and whatever -else-“ers” are developing across this country!!!  Bottom line, Folks…WE ARE ALL AMERICANS!!!  What are we doing???  I’ll tell you what we are doing…WE ARE DESTROYING OUR COUNTRY!!!  FROM WITHIN!!!  I just want to scream…”STOP!!!”

I work in the Rehab. Dept. at a local nursing home and we are all like family–across the board.  Administrator, administrative staff, front office staff, Dept. heads, nurses, CNA’s, therapists, kitchen staff, laundry staff, floor and maintenance staff and any others I may have forgotten.  I apologize if I overlooked anyone.  We are comprised of a very diversified group of individuals belonging to various groups, including age, gender, race, religion, socioeconomic background, etc.  WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT!!!  With different thoughts, ideas, and beliefs.  We do a marvelous job, however, working together to accomplish team goals.  WE ARE A TRUE TEAM.  With all the usual difficulties encountered between imperfect people.  LIFE WOULD BE SO MUCH EASIER IF WE JUST DIDN’T HAVE TO DEAL WITH “PEOPLE”!!!

Staff, patients and visitors alike have been participating in a weekly tradition.  Fridays at 2:00 pm, ET.  We all meet in the facility’s dining room during our Activity Dept.’s regularly scheduled event and we all sing “God Bless America” together as a symbol that we are all Americans.  First and foremost.  We are also… ONE NATION UNDER GOD.  And OUR GOD IS HERE TO STAY!!!  Please join in this movement.  I’m hoping that this will become a tradition everywhere across the entire country.  This is still America!!!  The greatest country in the entire world!  It is time for us to UNITE!!!  WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER!!!  AND GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!  AMEN!!!


We’re all in this together, aren’t we?

Tough question, but one we need to look at closely.  Consider each of the teams you are a member of.  Family, friends, co-workers, associates, etc.  Working together isn’t always easy, is it?   Are we prejudice, perhaps?  Prejudiced against race, religion, sex, sexual preference, body size, disability, body piercings or tattoos, etc., etc., etc.

Personalities may clash.  We are all different.  And we often find ourselves working “against” members of our own team because of those differences. Boy, this sure  doesn’t increase your team’s success rate, does it?  Some of us may even try to sabotage a team member’s  efforts without realizing it .  For example,  disagreeing simply to disagree.  Trying hard to prove a teammate wrong just because you don’t like them and don’t want them to be right.  Or  because YOU want to be “right” yourself.  This type of attitude only slows progress, thereby hindering your team’s success.  A team needs to work together in order to achieve success.  Oh, I absolutely love that word “SUCCESS!”

Is it important to like, or to be friends with teammates?  I used to think so, but now realize that it’s impossible to like or be friends with every single teammate on every single team I’m a member of.  And I have also learned that this is okay.  Shoot, I don’t ALWAYS “like” my husband and I don’t ALWAYS “like” my own children either, okay?  Then there will surely be days that I don’t like some of the other players on my different teams as well!  But, you know what?  We still have to work together.  Try to stay focused on the team’s objective and how to contribute the best of your own personal skills to facilitate enjoying  success together.  Oh yeah, I simply love that word…”SUCCESS!”  🙂

Life is difficult, folks.  Working together is difficult.  We are all who we are based on where we have been, simply seeking to survive, okay?  I truly believe that we all do the best we can given what we’ve got according to where we’re at.  NONE of us are at the exact same place, are we?  And there are so many different categories with many different places to be within each category, such as financial, religious, educational, marital, etc.  We are each at a different place along our own separate journey, managing our own plate of “stuff!”  🙂  This journey is “LIFE,” folks.  You get one life to live and you never know which day will be your last, so please…MAKE EACH DAY COUNT!!!  And add to the success of your teams by contributing the best of yourself daily.




As I assumed the role of advice-giver and problem-solver at work , it became common knowledge that I was interested in developing a support group.  A support group for “LIFE.” This became quite comical as small groups of team members (co-workers) frequently held mini support groups (gossip sessions) regarding other people’s  “issues.”  Funny, but true.

Now, there’s just about every type of support group out there for about everything you can think of today.  I wanted a  group, however, that would be appropriate for anyone and everyone.  A support group for “LIFE” came to mind as I often referred to those “plates of crap” that we all carry around with us everywhere we go… every day…impacting everything we say and do.  Each plate is unique per individual.  Many of those plates are quite FULL.  And I truly believe that most of us are doing the best we can do, given what we’ve got, simply seeking to survive.  Could we do better?  Sure!  But that’s what life is all about, right?  Living to improve ourselves daily, according to God’s written  word.  Amen.

Co-workers soon branded this support group:  “Tissues For Issues,” and that name  stuck!  Things have died-down a bit at work since limiting  my role play as Sherriff Allen and not attempting to “fix” all of the problems anymore.  I do, however, infrequently assume this role either for “policing” the Rehab. Dept. or simply to get a laugh or two.  And yes, this role is still sooooo ME!  I even have a deputy who resides at the Nursing Home.  We make a pretty good team, Deputy Po-Po and Sheriff Allen.  🙂



I have these, vague, memories from elementary school of “taking down the bully”  as part of a team effort.   Yep, out on the playground of Zone Elementary School during recess.  I believe there were a few of us involved.  I can remember, strategically, positioning myself behind the “bully” so that I could make my “secret approach,” knocking him to the ground from behind.  I truly believed that I was protecting others.  Others I, perhaps, viewed as weak and unable to protect themselves.  I have held onto a specific memory from that playground for ALL of these years.  Never understanding its significance until recently.

Needing to feel “protected” during almost all of my Jr. High and High School years.  This  is when my fear of being alone began to show itself, however I did not recognize it as such at the time.  I entered my first, real, relationship in 8th grade.  He was a sophomore.  Things were fine for us UNTIL … he graduated, about 2 1/2 years later.  I was then faced with the difficult task of making it through school every day by myself.  IMPOSSIBLE!!!  I was alone … until I found someone new to be my protector.  It was during this time period that I can remember experiencing serious “anger.”  And I had no control of this.  Thus began my obsession with “controlling” my emotions by trying to control people or situations.  I was extremely jealous.  Insecure and simply unable to “trust.”  I had not realized it at the time, but I needed to have that “visible” relationship during school.  Everyone knew that I “was taken” and not available.  Protected, perhaps?

Fast forward through High school graduation, a short marriage, and then … that life-saving car accident in 1986.  Boy, there were about 5 years, 1981-1986, that I was totally “LOST” and I continued on this downward spiral until being saved by almost dying.  After years involving rehabilitation, psych. counseling, college, re-entering the labor force, and then re-locating to Florida, I found myself struggling with being alone once again.  Emotional chaos erupted.

I then met my current husband.  We belonged to the same group of “friends” in Daytona Beach, FL.  We were friends for about 10 months before dating.  And then, look out!  Oh, the anger, jealousy, insecurities and inability to trust all seemed to get worse  and worse while dating.  Worse to the point of my being, insanely, jealous of ridiculous things such as pets, elderly female neighbors, male neighbors, and even Chris’ family.  I guess I was unable to  distinguish between different types  of relationships.  I was always in competition for Chris’ time with all of those other “attention seekers.”  Boy, I’m embarrassed to admit that I tried to DEMAND his total attention at all times.  I ALWAYS hated those things about myself.   I simply could NOT control them.  I was physically and verbally abusive with  my first husband and I started down that same path with Chris until I became aware that he  was NOT going to put up with that kind of “stuff” from anyone.  And I knew it.  This, further motivated me to find out what was “wrong” with me.  And so the search continued…



Winning versus losing:

Let’s first examine what it means to win.  We all would rather win, right?  This gives us a sense of pride, accomplishment.  Winning means that you’re better.  Your skill exceeds that of your opponent.  Your hard work and determination has paid off.  Winning makes you feel good.

And what about losing?  Nobody wants to lose, right?  Of course not!  To be “defeated,” at anything, is not fun.  This, generally, causes one to feel negative emotions, such as sadness or anger.  Your opponent was better, THIS time.  Or at least they came out on top, for whatever reason.  We can all agree that losing does not feel good, right?

The above may be true in a competitive situation, like a sports event, election, contest, etc.  Anything where a “winner” and “loser” is determined.  But what about those non-competitive events that happen in our daily lives, such as disagreements or arguments with teammates including family members, friends, neighbors, or co-workers?   And what about strangers, or community teammates?  In extreme cases, severe injury or even death can occur.  There are no winners in these instances.  Everybody loses.

In the more common trivial episodes, as well, “winning” can actually mean that you have “lost,” in the long run.  Who wins an argument or disagreement, anyways?  And how is the winner decided?  Generally, someone concedes in an attempt to extinguish the argument, thus accepting defeat gracefully.  The “winning” party may feel vindicated, however this “win” proves nothing .   And what about the  lasting impact this has on the relationship?  Resentment often lingers, thereby ensuring that this relationship will never be extended beyond team parameters.

“Winning” used to be very important to me.  I could argue and argue, trying to prove that black was white.  And I would NEVER give-up.  I “needed” conflict to vent the anger I felt which had nothing to do with the disagreements I often got involved in.  Think about that, folks.  Think hard.  If you truly believe that there is no such thing as “little stuff” to sweat and that EVERYTHING does matter, then it is my belief that you may have “issues,” as I refer to them.  Unresolved “issues.”


EVERYBODY tells “white lies,” right?  How about “bending the truth?”  Exaggerating?  Withholding information?  What about, down-right, lying?  When is this okay?  How much of this is okay?  Is it ever okay?  Boy, this reminds me of how I struggled with “Ethics” in college!!!  How do we know where to draw the line with anything?

Honesty.  When is it important?  Demanded?  Required?  Life is difficult.  Relationships are difficult, as well!  The value of each relationship determines the degree of honesty one applies to it.  Every individual has that “line” drawn in their mind and soul as to where “bending the truth” goes from being morally right to morally wrong.  This gets more difficult when we add in our own agendas, right?  Don’t we all add or delete “info” in an attempt to gain approval of our own opinion?  And how much “info” is, morally, acceptable to be added or deleted so that the opinion arrived at can be considered “valid?”

In general, honesty is important and there is absolutely no reason to lie.  Especially since people  tend to interpret what you have said differently than how you meant it ANYWAYS!  Thereby, turning your truth into a “mistruth,”  which can be… technically… referred to as a “LIE.”  Whew!!!   The difficulty of communication…adding more burdens to daily life!  EVERYDAY!!!

Honesty, folks.  That’s all we need.  How can anyone make a well-informed decision or opinion based on anything, what-so-ever?  Especially when equipped with only part, but not all, of the information pertaining to any particular subject?  I truly believe that NOBODY knows EVERYTHING about ANYTHING!!!  Therefore, does anyone’s opinion ever really matter?  Think about it,  our opinions are based on partial truths.  Perhaps we might feel differently had we known ALL of the pertinent information, right?  Now that’s an “eye-full!”  Get it?  “Mouth-full” when you say something, “eye-full” when you R-E-A-D something!  Sorry.  Just a bit of “ME” added in there.  Welcome to another part of my world, folks.  🙂

In general, I am talking about us everyday, regular folks.  I am not discussing politics, at all!  Politicians lie, right?  We all know that!  I find it interesting how they try to stand their ground on honesty with issues… INITIALLY!!!  Those politicians who have been there awhile, however, wouldn’t know the truth if it… you know what!!!  😉

I have said this before.  I will say it again…  “We are Americans.”  And America is the most giving nation in the world!  Helping those in need is what we do best.  Could things be better?  Could individuals do more?  Of course, but…THIS IS LIFE!!!  Full of imperfect people, therefore…LIFE IS NOT PERFECT!!!  It wasn’t meant to be.   The imperfections are what enable us to establish ourselves.  To choose “right” or “wrong.”  To “climb higher,” or to sink lower based on our individual beliefs.  We all get to choose, folks.  So, tell me… do you like the choices you are making?

Life is sooooo difficult, all by itself!  Try not to add to that difficulty by, purposefully, altering information during your conversations.  Try to be honest, folks.  One of my favorite sayings…”IT IS WHAT IT IS.”  No need to lie.  No need to withhold any details.  It is what it is!!!  Now, deal with it as necessary.  And move forward!  LIFE GOES ON…