Monthly Archives: August 2013

LIFE …

Life… IS DIFFICULT.  For everybody, everywhere.  Experiences pile up.  Some good.  Some bad.  Our “plates,” as I call this, become full of “crap!”  So , there you have it…all of us are out there in the everyday world, doing the best we can do, while also juggling or managing our plates of “crap” as we go.  Are you chuckling at this?  Well, it’s true!   EVERYBODY’s got …STUFF.  And it goes with us EVERYWHERE, impacting EVERYTHING.  We can all tell when someone is having a bad day, generally.  But it’s much more difficult to associate a teammate’s anger towards you as the result of displaced anger that is simply being vented “on” you.  This is critical.  Being able to determine the validity of apparent anger towards you will broaden your scope of tolerance.  Get to know your teammates, personally.  Take an interest in their outside lives.  A vested interest in the lives of your teammates adds to the depth of those  relationships.  A genuine “caring” attitude.  Remember…”People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

Life is a journey…to an unknown destination.  Every life experience alters each of us in some way or manner, thereby shaping who we become.  We become who we are based on where we have been, simply seeking to survive.  Pretty deep, huh?  I, generally , tend to believe that most people do the best they can, given what they’ve got.  And in that case, shouldn’t we all try to help each other as much as we can?  HELP EACH OTHER…hhmm…interesting concept.  Well, why not?

JUST A TAD-BIT MORE ABOUT…”ME” :)

Anyways, this is a TRUE story, folks and I decided to add it to show how we tend to take things too personally.  I often think about how ironic life can be.  Funny how I can “look back over my life” and see how the puzzle pieces have been fitting together…all along.

Anyways, I have this…fake…badge I used to carry around.  Fashioned  in a folding  carry case/holder thingy that I can do the fancy “flip your wrist” and it opens to display my, hand-drawn, photo  ID on one side with an authentic, dollar store sherriff’s badge on the other side!!!  I kid you not!  I REALLY HAVE THIS!!!  I have  had such fun with this at work…and out in the community… writing fake citations to folks for ridiculous things!   I take pride in reporting that I was self-elected AND…MY vote is the ONLY vote that counted during a secret election for this position!!!  🙂

All joking aside, I am currently stepping down from this position at work due to…complications.  Seems Sherriff Allen here, took the “title” a wee bit too seriously.  My direct supervisor once stated that, quote…I tend to “police the dept.!”  HA!  POLICE THE DEPT.!!!  Hey…I DO carry around this fake badge, don’t I?  I had to chuckle at this point.  And it was, sort of, true…if anyone had a problem…I TRIED TO FIX IT!!!  Bottom line, I don’t deal well with “complainers.”  Life is difficult enough already!!!   We don’t need problems like that at work.   If there’s a problem…then FIX IT!!!  We’re all adults, right?  So I busied myself at work with trying to “fix” problems that people didn’t REALLY want FIXED!!!  Some people just need to complain about “stuff.”  I guess this makes them feel…better?  I don’t know…

As my plans for this team-building/motivational speaking project began to take shape, I informed co-workers that I was no longer “policing the dept,” trying to fix everyone’s problems, in order to focus on MY DREAM.  This somehow turned into a HUGE “text”versation that got pretty heated!  I simply texted that I was not going to waste my time trying to fix problems that people don’t really want fixed.  They just want to complain!  Oopse, my co-worker immediately thought that I was talking about HER and HER complaining!  NOT AT ALL!!!  The texting argument ended with me saying something like this…”This is so FRUSTRATING!!!  It’s NOT about YOU!  THIS IS ABOUT ME!!!”

I just wanted to throw this cute little, true-life story in to help show how some of the things we get upset about are simply the result of misunderstandings that occur between teammates, REGULARLY.  I tend to OVER-COMMUNICATE with everybody for this exact reason.  People get sick of me saying the exact same thing, over and over, using different verbage, trying to ensure they understand what I am saying.  No matter what, however…people will still attach their own meaning to what you say, thereby…not really “getting” what you were trying to say AT ALL…

Please keep this in mind as you start each day out with good intentions…”bumps” in your daily conversations WILL occur, but they don’t have to “de-rail” your relationships.
Goodluck with this!!!  Oh yeah, and things are just fine at work…until the next misunderstanding!!!  🙂

F.Y.I.

Try not to over-rate your self- importance to those around you.  Don’t take things so personally.   Not everything said is about you.  Someone else’s bad day might be,  just that…A BAD DAY!  It probably has NOTHING to do with…YOU!!!

Instead of getting angry, try asking “Is everything okay?”  with sincerity.  This may open a whole new and positive dimension to your working relationship.  GO TEAM!!!

IDENTIFYING TEAM ROLES

To begin, I’d like to post a disclaimer that the information contained in this blog regards specific events in my life or opinions I hold to be true myself.  I am not asking you to agree, I am simply sharing what I believe to be true based on my own, personal experience.  I would, in fact, welcome any replies either in agreement or to the contrary.

Now, to examine possible results of that question I posed earlier:  Are you a beneficial member to the teams of which you belong? Let’s first examine those of you who responded with an astounding “YES!”   Many of us tend to rate ourselves a bit on the high side,  thereby ignoring our deficiencies.  Or denying them.  This is common.  Face it, if I don’t think I’m great, then who else will?  Taking this stance can be dangerous if taken to the extreme.  We all know those individuals who seem to think they know everything or that they’re the best at everything, right?  Self praise is very ugly and tends to strain working relationships.  Besides, if you’re THAT good, then everybody knows it.  You don’t have to tell them.  In fact,  the more you brag, the more your teammates will resent you and look for examples indicating the contrary.  And this is not hard to find.  I mean, we are human, right?  Everybody makes mistakes.

Now, what about those who responded “no” ?  This may indicate a low self-esteem or low self-image.  These folks need building up to a degree.  It takes time to build self- confidence.  Encourage these teammates with appropriate praise, NEVER fabricated.  Over time, some of these individuals may blossom beyond belief.  That’s called nurturing.  And it really works.

And the rest of you fall somewhere in the middle.  First identify your own personal qualities and then examine those of your teammates’ fairly.  What changes in your own behavior might help to increase the success of your teams?  That’s what we all want, right?  Success.  And hopefully, WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER!!!

A HIGHER POWER TO GUIDE ME

I realize there are various religions and “higher Powers” for individuals.   Freedom of religion.  I respect everyone’s right to believe what they believe. For me, however, that higher power is God.   And belief that God sacrificed his only son, Jesus, to pay for the sins committed by all of us.  Oh yes, I believe.  I have been aware of His presence at various pivotal points in my life, since the age of 22.  If you will remember, this is the time period during which I began my life’s journey.  Searching for “ME.”

After the car accident, I no longer knew who I was, where I was going or EVEN…where I HAD been.  All of this having influence over the choices I made, the paths I chose, the person I was, the person I was on my way to becoming.

LIFE.  GOD.  Yep, Life is a journey.  And I have forfeited my desires to become who HE wants me to be. To go where HE wants me to go.   HE is in the driver’s seat.  I shall go where HE leads me.

Get it?  Teamwork?  Number one team?  Amen!!!

 

A DELAY IN THE JOURNEY–MORE ABOUT ME !!!” :)

Sorry, a short pause here as both my face and heart enjoy THE BIGGEST SMILE EVER!!!  When misunderstandings occur at work that may imply selfishness or inconsideration, of or to, a staff member you will hear something like…”Yep, IT’S ALL ABOUT ME!” OR “I Know,” IT’S ALL ABOUT YOU!” as appropriate.  So, to my co-workers who might be reading   this…”YEP, IT’S ALL ABOUT ME!!!”  🙂

Okay now, moving on with “MORE ABOUT ME,”  I was living with my family in OH back  after the accident occurred which resulted in my suffering a traumatic brain injury as well as partial paralysis of my dominant arm.  MUCH, MUCH pain was involved after 3 weeks of coma due to both injuries.  The recovery process from where I was in 1986 to where I am today included a LONG, 3 month, acute care hospitalization; a 1  month admission at a rehab. center; many different therapies- both in-patient and out-patient; a community re-entry cognition program; driver’s ed/tng–AGAIN–YUCK; completion of a 2 yr. associate degree, completed in 3;  and re-locating to FL as part of my journey to “find myself.”

Blah, blah, blah…and suddenly here I am married with two children.  My husband and I have enjoyed every stage with our children, listening to and watching whatever was “IN.”  Two of those “IN” shows that I completely enjoyed included “Hannah Montana” and “High School Musical.”  Both have been an inspiration to my “mission” via the music utilized by each.  Specifically “The Climb” and “We’re All In This Together.”

It’s all fitting together, huh?  My faith and desire to prompt positive change through team commitment and working together have all been developing for awhile.  FOR THIS VERY PURPOSE!!!